Hmm.

I must write this before it leaves me. Tonight, I had a chat with my dear mother. I've been so stupid. It meant something to me, but it didn't to him. She tried to explain as the tears rolled down my face. I knew she was right, but didn't want to admit it. She's smart, and has had experience.

I don't want to look at the past anymore. I don't want anymore heart break. I need to expand and grow. I can't keep saying it's okay. I don't want to be hurt anymore. I don't think it's right to have someone when you want. Am I wrong?

She said it will happen, and I sure hope she is right. It's time for me to stop worrying about boys. I need to work on myself, and that is something that will be difficult. It's really important that we are friends. I want to be friends with everyone. I want people to be happy. I don't want any misery to be caused by my fault. I want everyone to like me for who I am. I want to be someone everyone can count on, and I do believe I am.

If I still have those feelings, I'll hide them until they have vanished. I don't want my over-thinking to ruin a friendship again. I need to stop the over-thinking and analyzing. It is what it is. I can't change that. I hope that I am changing for the better. If you'd like, you can all come on the journey with me. It might be an exciting one.





lots of love,
kara