State of Shock

I've never found myself as an attractive person.

I have always thought I am a bit weird. Never a girl boys would like.

I've never had a thought that said "I bet that guy likes me".

I have had a few "boyfriends" if you could call them that.

They were more of small infatuations with each other.

Whenever I do find out that some boy does like me,,I go into a 

state of shock. The infatuation never ever lasts long, but it is always sweet and simple.

After it is over I mourn for a few days and then I'm fine.Getting over people is one of my 

many talents. I am not saying that many people have been infatuated with me. 

Not many have. Very few have. I guess I am too good of a friend*wink*.

This time last year I was infatuated with a boy, that was head over heels with my

best best friend. He was pretty cute, and very sweet.

She for some reason could not see this about him. I did.

One night at a party, I found out that he had stopped liking her, and

started to like me! *state of shock*.

Then pure bliss. For one whole week.

My best friend told him that she had always liked him.

He said our relationship was "awkward".

That was the end of that. There infatuation started, the next minute he sent the text.

I wasn't angry. Just sad. The song "Back to December" by taylor swift.

Reminds me so much of that time.

I look back and think of how silly it was.

It was very very silly. I am completely and totally over it now of course(:

Tonight, I came into a stake of shock.

Ironic time too, that infatuation from up there^turned 16 today.

They planned a surprise party for him. I had a wonderful time.

I've always have a small crush on my dear friend..lets call him Burt.

But too scared to say anything to him about it, he was just too cute for me.

We sat down to watch I am Legend. I had seen it 1 million and one times.

Luckily I found a seat next to Burt. To my surprise, he sat fairly close to me&moved closer when something scary happened, I did the same in return. 

As the movie flickered across the screen, I couldn't keep my eyes off the right side of me.

His hand was so close to me. I didn't understand. 

Why in the world would someone like him even consider holding my hand!?

Then I just told myself I was being silly and he wasn't going to.

Suddenly my phone lite up. I took my phone and looked at the message.

Someones else had noticed his hand also. 

"Hey hun. He wants to hold your hand, just btw :)"

My eyes wide I looked at her and said out loud "Doubt that will happen".

Oh how I was right/wrong.

Our backs were sore. So we moved to the couch.

Where to my extreme surprise he put his arm around me.

At first I thought nothing of it. The couch we sat on was a three person couch,

with five people on it. It was probably more comfortable for him.

But as the movie carried on his arm came closer and closer to me.

Until it was lightly resting on my arm. As the movie ended, he stayed there.

Even when the lights came on. By then I was feeling very confused and self conscious.

Knowing I probably looked like a complete scrounge. 

I left the party in a daze. Not knowing what happened.

So confused and slightly thrilled, He text me and asked if we could talk.

He called and simply said that he really does like me, but he doesn't want to

ruin our friendship. I agreed and hung up.

He is such a sweet kid, to think he could say that we should be a thing or whatever

but chooses to keep our friendship. To choose not to hurt me in anyway or form.

I am so glad he is my friend, I will always have a special place in my heart for him(:

We both decided that we are going to get married.

You are all invited to the wedding(;

I really do hope I have the privileged to marry someone like him.

He is truly amazing(: 

withlove&confusion&giddy-ness,

Kara Diane<3